Already got asked if we're dating
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
