Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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