Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
