Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
