I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
