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You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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