he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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