You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
