You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
