And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize