I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
