Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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