Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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