I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
