You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
