i jhust puked up my retainher.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
