addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
