ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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