Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
