it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
