I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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