i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
