I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Are my feet made of real feet?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His nipple licking is glorious
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
