I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
