Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
