woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
