i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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