Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
