WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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