Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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