Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
