I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
