So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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