Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
