THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
