So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
