id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
