i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
