I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
