What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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