forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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