I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
