she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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