glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
