You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
