No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
