is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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