and she was petting her beer can
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
