oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
