I met the friendliest cop last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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