If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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