I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
