At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
