Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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