So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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