forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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