wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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