oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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