Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
