This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
