I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize