On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
