And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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