Fuck appropriateness.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
